escape the toxic fumes, out into cool night, girl wobbles down stair, two men (by her side) arms weighed down by arms, she slips- I turn to a familiar voice, warm yellow light illuminates face, peer up to eyes, soft hazel- a little too soft, even shallow, was it the light, the liquor? Turn to face a sky, my bud the moon.

Cool night, different from the muggy day, head tilt to the side, feet propped on tough black net of metal,  wear the blue superman shirt, warm yellow light makes her cheek glow- just a little, 'I want to be carefree' she sighs, incense reaches our nose, silver wisps of smoke cling to our skin, eyes travel a path of puff up, up away, into the nest of baby stars (not twinkling, but there to stay) and still, the laughter beneath reminds her of something, someone gone.

Take the elevator down to the first floor, step outside and for once air is a little loose, sandals slap tiles, step into the mini mart (once a hole in the wall) fluorescent lights with a blue tint, cold penetrate every fiber in body, sandals slap tiles, open fridge door and pull out Mongolian yogurt. Stand there and think for a while. 

like the many things that come and go, hope for something more than this pattern. here and now, I choose to have faith,

Really hurts me to see her feelin the universe crumble, holdin on to the many fears and disappointments all in one bundle. Really tried to place myself back then so I could help her cope, but all I could remember was how the little thoughts stayed, cooped up, so much but not enough to fill the spaces (large spaces). I hope she never feels how large the space is, hope no one will ever ever
find empty.

A little late to work but worth the time reading a letter that filled me up to the brim. Come home. One person I turn to, even though he does not understand how I think, does not know the person I am today. But with blood, always find insurance, reassurance, unconditional positive regard, something that is whole,

Saved the card for needy times - so the other night I tore the tape off, read and read
only to find myself heavy, heavier, heaviest. But really,
where does this grace come from? Feel like some people are too good to me; they should realize that the good they see in me is all (thanks to) them and more. Blue tractor, feet propped up on dashboard, plastic prayers spinning and many other little things- does not matter where it comes from, or why it is here now; think that I'm lucky to have such good at my side (love you all)