Short difficult to match up with long, quick ones- but I'm trying, trying.
Something surreal about being with the towers and cables, the patches of grass, swamp, dirt, gravel, a living breath at my side, a little breeze a long while...not the scenery, not nature; just a moment of being almost-

Walking through grass- a little too wet- feet in cold puddles but in comparison I feel nothing but a tickle because there is something bigger
out there
     in there
        in here
          inside.

Pushing forward as hate crept into all slits and spaces, so much bitter that masks the sharp sting in the thighs (sensitive to slight elevation). Remember the second of realization (my lack of mercy), back/before then I would feel guilt for this anger but I guess I have changed with time.
Dishonesty in character is the breaking point and it's prominent now because of a certain hurt. Saw the fake in him and I'm reminded (though not conscious of the point at that moment) of another, or maybe of myself and that might explain
such hate.

When there is so much sky
in one night you can
swallow it feel it slide down
throat breathe in feel your lungs
fill with the good
ness of one night, this night
When there is so much sky
tonight you can swallow.

Quiet eighteen.
Saw Shen. Pizza and drinks. Card, scarf, little address book. Keeper.
Mall, a little bit.
Work.
Ate a lot.
Bought earrings.
Barnes and Noble.
Quiet.

Something
is wrong- but I can't pinpoint it close enough. Past three weeks and I still feel the hurt of void. Thought yesterday would make things a little better but who am I kidding- a few stomach drops, body free falling through air helped only a little. Think that friends made it lighter-